First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
