Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
