Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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