Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
