I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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