dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
he's gonorrhea incarnate
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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