I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
the day after is always just damage control
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
