did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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