you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
