I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
