Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Four minutes until I can fart!
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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