Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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