Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
