I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
