Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
