Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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