Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
