fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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