No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
