between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
