Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Drake has all the answers
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
