How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
