after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
