Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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