just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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