he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
