I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
