I wish I could teleport
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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