I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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