I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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