Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
