He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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