Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
