Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
