He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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