i wish my penis had a tongue
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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