she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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