Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
