I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
