talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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