omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
