before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Are we still banned from the library?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
