i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
