Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
