i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
