I love black thongs
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
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