this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
