well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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