I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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