As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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