you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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