How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
