I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
