Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
