we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
