My first STD was from a foam party
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
